Traffic cameras catching speeders and adulterers

February 7, 2011

The already controversial Seppuwa Falls “We’re watching you” traffic ticket campaign now can add another group to its list of detractors, adulterers.

Since it was originally implemented last January this program has paid for itself twice over providing new revenues to the cash strapped coffers of our town. Unfortunately the system which sends pictures of the driver has been known to catch spouses with the tendency to stray away from their partner.

Keith Steinmeyer, an attorney who specialized in divorce  and pre-nuptial agreements explained, “It started a week after it was implemented I had a client come in with a picture sent by the traffic officers and she just said, she wanted his balls mounted on her wall. So the traffic cameras have really streamlined the process for me”

Goldie Maher, director of Seppuwa Falls Hate Watch (SHW), has been against the system from the start. “We have a lot on our plate right now, thankfully we have enough time on our hands to concentrate on a variety of issues including this invasion of privacy.

The traffic camera debate was ratcheted up when a local mega church pastor was photographed becoming intimate with someone that was not his wife and who was also someone who wasn’t a woman.

Unfortunately due to a cease and desist order we are unable to publish the name but it is the answer to number three down in this weeks crossword puzzle in the H.S. Thompson High Golden Gonzo newspaper.

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