December 13, 2011 Despite being under pressure from a variety of religious to be more inclusive,the Seppuwa Falls City Hall nativity scene is being scrutinized by groups on the other side of the argument,complaining about the message an interfaith nativity sends. Last year three groups succeeded in attaining a temporary court injunction to stop city [...]
After two weeks of operating with an interim principal, H.P. Newton high introduced its new chief administrator, a computer. Total Education Database or TED is the first of its kind. TED was developed to manage all support systems at a school as a cost effective alternative to hiring administrators. Mayor Karol Fitzpatrick Mikolashek delivered a commencement speech [...]
November 15, 2011 Local coffee shop struggles to make money even though it is always packed. Last friday The Hip-Stir coffee shop a which has become a Seppuwa Falls mainstay for those seeking an alternative to Starbucks was packed. People were actually standing waiting for a table. Despite the look of a prospering business,night manager [...]
February 14, 2011 On Sunday morning Seppuwa Falls Police arrived at the entrance of the Seppuwa Falls Zoo after responding to a 911 call reporting that a teenager broke into the zoo after hours. Once at the zoo officers saw the teenager, Freddy Renoir, was being chased across the Kilimanjaro Pen by Seppuwa’s own Lenny [...]
February 14, 2011 Relocation of Homeless is not without incident. At 9:15 a.m. Mayor Karol Mikolashek’s office coordinated the relocation of shanty town residents to a new squatters settlement that was set aside while the current shanty town is surveyed for possible construction. En-route,one of the buses used to transport residents was commandeered by disgruntled [...]
February 14, 2011 Survey crews began work at the proposed site of the Seppuwa Falls Falls as the controversy City spokesman Jeremy Strausburg said, “The Tent City has officially been relocated, city officials can finally begin exploring the site for the digging of the Seppuwa Falls Falls, and what will be the town’s official landmark. [...]
February 7, 2011 The already controversial Seppuwa Falls “We’re watching you” traffic ticket campaign now can add another group to its list of detractors, adulterers. Since it was originally implemented last January this program has paid for itself twice over providing new revenues to the cash strapped coffers of our town. Unfortunately the system which [...]
February 7, 2011 Dozens of vagrants and hobos to be relocated to make way for a possible ground breaking. Months of heated negotiations have all lead up to a development yesterday afternoon in which the mayor announced that the town of Seppuwa Falls has gone ahead with plans to begin breaking ground on the construction [...]
Last Tuesday, due to the remodeling of the Town Hall Auditorium, concerned Seppuwans gathered at the local Cozy Biscuit Café Breakfast Buffet to discuss the possible relocation of transients, or “trannys,” as they’ve often been called. Jeremy Schmuckler, the mayor’s personal intern, was present as the city’s sole representative The guest moderator for the meeting was TVs [...]
January 31, 2011 Local man avoids suicide due to black out. Seppuwa Falls experienced a blackout last Saturday as a result of a transformer being blown due to an overloaded grid as a result of the entire downtown area turning on the lights all at once. A local Seppuwan Tom Moyer, who after an argument [...]
An open letter for Kanye West to interrupt the Quran burning Minister in Gainesville
Town calls for Valentines day redo to stimulate the economy.
Star Trek fans threaten to burn sacred Star Wars text
Local restaraunts owner get tazed for menu mistake
Seppuwa Falls hosts Curves for Scurvy fundraiser.
Feminist self defense course empowers and overpowers men
New Organic Food Grocery store opens on Washington Street
Shrooming teenager caught in farmer’s bear trap
Spelling Bee set to be a doozy
Recession over but life is just starting
Seppuwa Falls Arena Football game ends in violence
Offseason team retreat in Bolivia awaits Seppuwa Shiners baseball
Sloppy Joes being removed from school menu
Ye Olde Village People Agree to Reunite for rennaissance fair
Brawl at dollar theater for showing of Eat, Pray Love
Town video store celebrates release of Sex in the City DVD with a Cupcakegasm
Light Up Seppuwa causes black out
Blackout saves man who tried to committ suicide by electrocution
Seppuwa Falls celebrates Labor Day with Jelly Jamboree
Dance Festival Takes Town by Storm
Blackout saves man who tried to committ suicide by electrocution