Aquarius January 21 – February 19 Your desperation is becoming more and more apparent. For example today at the Dunkin Donuts when you looked at that guy who you thought was cute, was under 18. Time to start looking at other options. Pisces February 20 – March 20 Stop being a spectator and start being [...]
Dear Santa, Today I spent my day producing my own unique brand of elevator music. Most when they think of elevator music they think of Muzak, I have turned it into an art form. I spent two years living in Peru with a tribe that was busy staving off developers. The idea of a man [...]
December 24, 2010 A couple of days ago I participated in the Seppuwa Falls Gazette office party secret Santa. Underwhelmed is an understatement for what i felt when I got my gift. The reporter who will remain nameless, although it wouldn’t matter you probably can care less with the tripe we call journalism at this [...]
December 24, 2010 Seppuwa Falls Church for Christ’s Children will open its doors tonight for the first time. The new mega church, was originally the old 163rd street mall that was set for demolition in 2008. The Church which was looking for a home decided to retrofit the mall in attempt to cut costs on [...]
December 20, 2010 For the entire week the Seppuwa Falls Players will be performing an original play entitled A Festivus for me. The play written by one of the troupe’s actors and is the story of Vaageesh the teenage son of two immigrants from India. Tired of being left out of both Christmas and Hanukkah [...]
Aquarius January 21 – February 19 Variety is the spice of life. You have taken that quite literally, you decided to start a blog documenting your search for the perfect buffet. You not only increase your knowledge of the town’s underground buffet scene, you also increase your cholesterol level. Pisces February 20 – March 20 [...]
Aquarius January 21 – February 19 Adventure awaits you at every corner if you change your outlook on life. Next time your at your office tackle the intern then tell him that you need his help in getting the code or the nuclear warhead will detonate. Then let the excitement ensue. Pisces February 20 – [...]
December 13, 2010 As I was grading the final exams for the lecture class I gave on Hobos in the 20th Century I had the opportunity to procrastinate for a bit. The local Dunkin Donuts and I have an understanding, I get the old donuts at closing and I have dibs on their Wifi and [...]
December 13, 2010 Dear A.J. Letterman, I am a jewish Santa Clause. I won’t give my name but needless to have felt torn between the part of me that says no to a ham sandwich and the part of me that cashes my Food Bucket Check I grew up in the lower eastside of Seppuwa [...]
Aquarius January 21 – February 19 We realize the holidays may be difficult for you being a of an alternative religion, but your obsession with Dexter does not warrant you to ask for a day off this December called Dextmas. Pisces February 20 – March 20 Your relationship will be tested when your girlfriend who [...]
